Relationships: Practical relationship advice and information...

As a strong and centered woman who is in a relationship with a man, you may have chosen to be the feminine type. And if you are with a man who wants to lead with his ideas, suggestions, and opinions, then do not ask him about his feelings. Why? Because all you will get is: "Fine. Okay. Why do you ask?" You will always do better if you tell him your feelings openly and ask him what he thinks and wants to do about them.

Men who want to be respected will often dodge the point when asked how they feel. They may not be "fine" or "okay" at all, but they don't want to open up because it feels too vulnerable. Masculine men need time to think before they talk or act on their feelings, especially when building a relationship with a woman they love.

A masculine man knows that a woman will either provide a safe place for his feelings or hurt them, so generally the man who wants to be respected will hold his cards close to his chest. But he will open up voluntarily once you have created a nonthreatening arena for him. Of course, feminine-energy men who are aware of their feelings and want to be cherished always want to talk about them and have you (the masculine-energy female) listen and help.

There is nothing wrong with either man, but you must remember your priorities in the relationship to avoid problems later. If you want to be respected first as the masculine energy, and he does, too, conflict could lead to collision, competition, and confusion. Similarly, if being cherished is your first priority and his first priority also, same problem. It won't work.

When a man or woman wants respect as the first priority, he or she often feels manipulated when asked questions about his or her feelings, especially questions that elicit fear, guilt, inadequacy, and other sensitive issues. When people want to be cherished, they will ask for cherishing. But when a man talks about his problems to you, you run the risk of becoming "Mom," "sob sister," or "therapist," all of which eliminate you as his woman.

When a man feels safe, he will share his feelings voluntarily. Until then, don't ask. The male energy who is respected will feel cherished. The female energy who is cherished will feel respected. Cherishing at its best is freely given, not asked for. All too often, however, women make the mistake of complaining to men who don't give, protect, or cherish enough.

And do not ask to be cherished. If you don't feel cherished, leave quietly. If he wants you, he will come and get you and give you what you want, often by observing you and fulfilling your desires even before you think of them.