Self Esteem - Building self esteem and self confidence...
Self-Assessment & Support - The Road to Recovery
We all know the many familiar problems that are caused by low self-esteem. Now what is the solution? How do we a obtain a positive self-image? It is by no means simple, but it can be accomplished.
The first step is accepting the possibility that our self-concept is invalid. Otherwise there is no possibility of any change. We have no motivation to make a self-assessment if we already know ourselves. Furthermore, why would we bother to search through a pile of rubble if we are convinced it contains nothing of value?
We must have reason to believe that there is something of value to be found in order to make the effort. It is not easy to shed convictions about one's self-image. If it is correct that the negative self-image begins in childhood, then a person who begins a self-assessment in middle age must be ready to let go of ideas that he or she has harbored for forty or more years. There is great resistance in relinquishing ideas that have been deeply entrenched for so long.
The second step is to make lifestyle changes that promote a more positive self-image, and there may be fierce resistance to this. We are creatures of habit, and most of us are reluctant to change established patterns. It can be extremely distressful to alter significant behaviors. The tendency to return to a familiar, well-established pattern because it is more comfortable often inhibits the drive to develop an altered self-image.
The third step is to be extremely patient. A self-image that has prevailed for the greater part of our life is not going to be replaced quickly. Changes in self concept are gradual and come in small increments. Relapses into the old self concept are frequent. It may take years before there are substantive changes in self-image.
If these three conditions are satisfied, we can begin a self-assessment. Doing this alone may be of limited value. We have been looking at ourselves through distorting lenses and are not likely to see anything different if we look again. Nevertheless, some progress may be made, and there is no harm in trying to do it on our own.
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